FreelanceSweat

very small people Blog

FreelanceSweat — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 16:03:38 +0000

Just taking a short break from our regular programming with this blatant promo for my latest blog:

Tell your friends.

It’s all just the same words!

FreelanceSweat — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 16:13:03 +0000

CLIENT: You’ll charge me that much to write my brochure? What say you just copy this , put our name on top, and I’ll pay you, mmm, 10, OK?

ME: Can’t. It’s copyrighted.

CLIENT: Copyright? No way. It’s all just the same words we use anyway, so how the heck can they own those?!?

ME: Well, we all just use the same letters too, right? Sorry, it doesn’t quite work that way…

Eldon Sarte
http://eldonsarte.com

We’re not paying. Just because.

FreelanceSweat — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 00:11:02 +0000

CLIENT: Why’d you come all the way here?

ME: To collect the money you owe me.

CLIENT: You went all the way here just for that? It’s a tiny amount! We could have handled it all by email.

ME: It’s large enough. You’ve ignored all my emails. And you’re only 15 minutes away by Metro.

CLIENT: Well, we’re not paying.

ME: Why not?

CLIENT: We’re not paying. Just because. Chalk it up to experience.

ME: I have a better idea. I’ll have my lawyer do a bit of suing. You’ll probably hear from her tomorrow — she lives for this stuff.

CLIENT: You an idiot? You’ll pay a whole bunch of legal fees to get this sorry amount of money?

ME: Actually, you’ll be paying her fees. It’s right there on page 6 of the contract, probably next to where you initialed the page on your copy — it is on mine.

CLIENT: Here’s your @#$&@(#! check!

Eldon Sarte
http://eldonsarte.com

How do you get away with that crap?!

FreelanceSweat — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 17:33:41 +0000

CLIENT: We went to eLance and ordered a bunch of custom articles for our website. Crap crap crap! Couldn’t use them, they were that bad! I saw your writing and was wondering if you can do articles for us.

ME: Sure, I’ve got some free time next week to do a few Web articles for you.

CLIENT: Great! How much do you charge?

ME: For an article ## number of words in length and minimal research requirements, I charge a base of $X per article. That could and will likely change depending on project requirements, quanti…

CLIENT: What!?! That’s highway robbery! How do you get away with that crap?! I can have the work done on eLance for a fraction of what you’re asking!!!

ME: Knock yourself out.

Eldon Sarte
http://eldonsarte.com

It’s not invoice-worthy.

FreelanceSweat — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 17:42:57 +0000

A client emailed to have a few modifications done to a print brochure/booklet I wrote and designed for him about a year back.

CLIENT: It’s simple stuff and you’ll only be fiddling around with the computer files. You won’t need to have it printed anymore — my buddy said he’s got connections. So I figure there’s no need to send me any new invoices.

ME: You should have contacted me last week! I just installed this new software that won’t let me do work that can’t be invoiced.

I guess since the work’s too simple to invoice, you should be able to do it yourself with the files I already sent you.

Hey, thanks for thinking of me. Certainly check my availability in the future if you have any invoice-worthy work!

Eldon Sarte
http://eldonsarte.com